Reply to I hate when people assume I have a ton of free time because I SAH

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[quote=Anonymous]Wow, people are being jerks in this thread. OP, I am a working mom but was SAH when my kid was the same age and I 100% agree with you. Of course you are busy. My 2-yr-old was both a delight and a handful (though I'll be honest that 3 was harder!). I was an older mom so I'd been working in a pretty demanding field for nearly 20 years by the time I had a kid and took a few years off. I can tell you unequivocally that there were plenty of days as a SAH that were as busy/tough (or busier and tougher) than some of my hardest days in consulting. Particularly when my DH would have to go out of town for work so I'd be on my own with a 2/3 year old from the minute she woke up until the minute she went to bed. I've had to pull lots of late nights and even all-nighters in my career, but being alone or among other adults made those long days easier in many respects than my long SAH days. It is one thing to be productive and perform well when tired. It is another thing entirely to do so when tired and there is a small human saying your name every 3 seconds, or wailing from an ear ache, or refusing to put on shoes or brush teeth or whatever. I often used to think that some of my more childish colleagues and clients had helped prepare me for motherhood, but helping me develop a deep well of calm and patience in the face of extremely challenging behavior. But with those colleagues/clients, I knew at some point I would be done with them. With your child you are never done. Of course you are busy.

I have never had less "free" time than when I was a SAHM. Today, as a working parent (I WFH so no commute, thankfully), if I need to go to the doctor or call my parents or get my hair done or work out, I just have to arrange me work schedule to make it happen. Obviously this is easier with WFH, but even when I was in an office, I used to do stuff like get a manicure or grab food with a friend on my lunch hour all the time. And all these professionals acting like they they never have time for a personal call in the middle of their work day are lying. Sorry, but I work with very, very busy people, I have friends who are surgeons and corporate lawyers and school teachers. Every one of them have time built into their day where they could make a personal call. Maybe not a one hour call (for real, who talks on the phone to anyone for an hour these days? I wouldn't want it). But of course they could make some phone calls or get a work out in or whatever. Especially with WFH. These martyrdom posts from working parents are ridiculous. Get real, folks.

Anyway, OP, I may be the only one but I hear you. There are few things I've done in life that were harder than caring for a toddler 24/7, and that includes a demanding graduate school program, training for a sport at an elite level, and managing a team of 20+ people on projects for some of the most profitable companies in the world. People don't value that work, they assume it's easy, they think caring for children is something anyone can do. It's not. It's hard and childcare workers are almost universally underpaid. As someone who also did that work for free (and would again), I get it. Sorry all these other folks are too defensive about their own choices to see that.[/quote]

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