Reply to Would it bother you if your husband wanted to be buried beside his first wife and child?

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Reply to "Would it bother you if your husband wanted to be buried beside his first wife and child?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The old adage about second marriages is true.

I would be regretting building a life with him. You can’t make someone love you. You can’t make someone choose you. He didn’t want to be lonely, which is understandable, but it does suck for you.[/quote]

It tells the 2nd wife exactly how he feels about her. However, if we spent a lot of years together I would make sure NOT to bury him with the 1st wife. In the end it would be up to her anyways.[/quote]

He should be cremated. Pour his ashes in the ocean. Problem solved. [/quote]

The real problem was the second marriage wasn't important to him. It seems many just marry to not be alone, what it tells me. [/quote]

Why does it say that?  Why wouldn't the inverse be true- that burying next to the second wife sent the message the first wife wasn't important?[/quote]

Umm because he should be focused on the marriage he is in now. Of course your current marriage should be more important than your ex. Otherwise why stand up and make vows and get married then if your ex is still more important in your heart even if they are deceased. Figure that out in your heart before you get married again.[/quote]

Are you a second wife of a widower, by chance?  Or are yo a second wife of a divorcee? I'm guessing (hoping) the latter, and that you are bringing your feelings about your own situation, which is entirely different, to this one.. [/quote]

You shouldn't be getting married again  if you think it's okay to backseat your current spouse and kids[/quote]

I’m genuinely curious.  Do you care to answer the question?[/quote]

You're the  poster who always shows up  in these thread claiming that second spouses just have to deal, WEll guess what? You being a widower/widow does not give you the right to to treat your new partner or spouse like shit. You don't get to be a dick to them, ignore their feelings and say, but oh well I lost my spouse. Not how it works.  When you decide to be in a relationship again and be married again  that current person's feelings are above your own. If you can't do that stay single[/quote]

Wow, OK I guess I have my answer.

And FWIW, there is a big difference between a single choice on burial location and “being a duck” and treating a second spouse “like shit.”[/quote]

Not everyone agree with you that being a widow/widower gives you cart blanche. , but keep thinking you can ignore your current partner, not care about their feelings and see how long your relationship lasts.[/quote]

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