Reply to Sexual secrets within a monogamous committed relationship

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Not every marriage or committed relationship is a completely open book with full transparency between partners.

Here’s an informal poll. If you are in such a relationship, do you have secrets from your spouse or partner about any of the following:

1. Porn consumption 
2. Solo satisfaction (not involving spouse)
3.  Sexual fantasies

Would also be interested to hear why, if yes, you choose not to be completely open and transparent — and how those who can answer no to all 3 Qs got to that point of openness with spouse.

Any info on age, gender, length of relationship would also be welcome.

This is NOT a question about affairs.[/quote]

Do you think these things are shameful, OP?  What a weird question. Most of those are very personal experiences or behaviors and not really oriented to sharing in a “TMI” sense. [/quote]

OP here, I don't think any of them are shameful (although it is a bit more complicated with certain forms of porn).  I think 2 and 3 are totally natural but even in committed relationships people often want to maintain some private space or sphere.  At the same time, couples often crave greater honesty and the intimacy that could come from being more open about these matters.  I'm interested in how others resolve this tension.

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