Reply to How to 'get over' my parents' untimely deaths?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - I'm another one in your situation. I was 23 when my mother died and 33 when my father died, then my beloved sibling died a few years ago. As others have said, you don't get over it, you just learn to live with it. I miss them all terribly and I always will. [/quote]

OP here. I'm so sorry for your losses. Not only did you lose your parents when you were young, but a sibling as well. That sounds really hard. Hugs.

You are right, you learn to live with it and you get used to the fact that they're no longer around.

In my case, I learned to live with it - but only on the surface. Outwardly no one would think that I'm still struggling. I just put a happy face on.

I wish I would be more resilient to other people's behaviour, or things they say (albeit unintentionally). 
Got triggered again yesterday. MIL's 92nd birthday. We video called her to wish her a happy birthday. MIL and I are great friends, I love her and she loves me. One of my SILs (DH's sister) was there and sat next to MIL and she kept hugging and touching MIL and saying how great it was that she could be with her mom, and then talked about all the birthday presents that were waiting to be opened, etc. This in itself is nice, and she is her own daughter after all, but it triggered me. As usual I acted smiley and chatty and all that, but inside I felt crap. I enjoy MIL's company, she's a sweet lady, but when SIL is with her the dynamic changes.

Putting on an outwardly happy face all the time when you have unresolved issues can be exhausting.Perhaps this is something that counselling might be able to address ...?[/quote]

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