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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was a nanny before I became a stay-at-home mom. I don't want to go back to doing that. My kids already drive me crazy.[b] I can't bring in enough money to pay for childcare, but I'm so lonely. I am so isolated, and covid makes me feel even guiltier for considering daycare.[/b] Being a SAHM means I need to make peace with not having friends. I've moved so much that it's hard to have friendships, and even when I do have SAHM friends, they always make excuses why they can't get together. I get it. They don't have energy.

My DH doesn't cook, so every day, I try to get lunch and dinner sorted. Lately, I have have no interest in cooking. I take anxiety meds, but a pill isn't going to make me happy. We need to feel connected to people. I think it's vital as a mom. I'm annoyed and irritated all the time. I'm not sure how to get through this. I keep telling myself the younger years are complicated, and I will get through it. I have 5 and a 2-year-old sons. They're hyper. Bounce off the walls, yell, etc., etc. I feel judged out in public. I can't get those guys to behave, and it's my full-time job. I lost my mom a few years ago. It's been hard because I don't have anyone checking in on me, you know. I know I need to do something. [/quote]

I am the kind of person who would go crazy as a SAHM, but you can definitely let go of the COVID daycare guilt. My kid had a ton of daycare colds early on but we tested every single time and no COVID. Daycare has been a huge net positive for her development. It has helped her walking, talking, and I get to reap the benefits of sibling-like interactions for her (learning to share, to get along, etc.) without having to have another kid, which I don't want. Additionally, especially with widespread vaccination in this area, the risks of COVID for regular healthy children are minimal. For me -- this is cynical -- but it's all about convenience -- I want to avoid my DD getting COVID because quarantine would blow up my routine for 2 weeks! Not because COVID for a toddler is that scary.

I agree with you completely on needing to connect with others. Can you join a mom group, maybe one that meets outdoors if you're worried about it? It helps if you have somewhere that's a built-in community. I'm not a church person but this was easier to find when churches were a thing.

Can you get a part-time nanny or a once-a-week sitter for date nights? I have twice a week babysitter time with my DH and it has immensely helped my mental wellbeing. Our sitters are vaccinated and cautious about COVID, so we don't really worry about exposure too much.

I can't help you on the kid behavior thing -- my only kid is 2 and we're definitely trying to handle tantrums, etc., too. Being outside a lot and at playgrounds a lot (again, minimal COVID risk) helps with the excess energy. I find that I have to avoid "showing fear" (in a tongue-in-cheek sense) with my DD to get her to behave well. If I let her see she is bothering me, she's already won. Lol.

If you want to have a career but not work as a nanny, you could start an agency! Or go back to school for something different.
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