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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP this seems like something to explore in therapy.  Your mother was a child when she had you.

If you can find a way to view her as a flawed human who did the best she could, you might be able to find some compassion for her.[/quote]

This.

Are you a mother yet? That should give you a different perspective. I hope you have a 16 year old daughter someday so you can see things from the other side.

If you could build a loving relationship with your in-laws, then surely you can have a relationship with your own mother.

Get therapy, and build a healthy new relationship with your mom. Forget the past, and focus on the present. [/quote]

Only a person who has a nomal parental relationship can say this.  Once I had my child, I had a lot of realizations about the abuse that I went through growing up and not even knowing it.  I realized that I was an unhappy child, depressed and I remember at least at one point that I wanted to die.  I only realized this when I had a child that I need to care for and raise and found out I did not want a lot of things that affected me psychologically to affect DC.  Thank for your post OP, I’m having such a hard time accepting why I don’t love my mom and I think this is one of the big reasons why.[/quote]

After many years of trying to create safe distance and make believe, I cut off my mom when my DC turned 3 because I didn't want her in our life at all. Having a 3yo, and remembering how my mom treated a 3yo, well, that clenched it. [/quote]

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