Reply to I Don’t Even Know How to Answer This

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "I Don’t Even Know How to Answer This"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I believe you. My ex is also NPD.

The thing is, you can’t reason with them. They aren’t capable of it. The more you try to call them out, argue your point of view, explain things, etc, the more entrenched they become and often the angrier they get. And, they thrive off of getting a reaction from you.

The only thing you can do is keep things brief and breezy. Ignore anything that isn’t directly related to the kids’ needs right there and then. For example, Coordinating pickups is fine, discussing custody schedules or agreeing to “be nice” is not. Everything else can be discussed via email, or ideally, your attorneys. If you get an email asking for something like being nice or a birthday party, ignore ignore ignore. She’ll escalate things, just continue to ignore.

Boundaries are about actions. Speak with your actions, not your words. Saying “I won’t communicate with you if you use that tone” is not effective. Ignoring ALL communication (unless time-sensitive) is. Talking about hiring a divorce attorney just stirs her up because she knows you’re upset. Keep quiet and just hire the attorney.

[b]It helps me to think of mental illness as a physical illness like uncontrollable diarrhea. Arguing with someone that they’re getting sh!t all over me, they need to control their sphincter better, now I’m going to have to clean it up, why should I clean up their mess, etc doesn’t actually do anything. If someone’s crapping all over me, I need to stop talking about how they should stop crapping on me and just leave the freaking room instead. [/b][/quote]

Yes.

[quote]Also look into Gray Rock. [/quote]

Yes. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics