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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My sister was emotionally and physically abused by her husband. She had an affair that gave her the confidence to leave. I think it was not only justified but necessary.  Assume people other than the Taliban and the anti-cheating fanatics on here would agree[/quote]

And if he found out he would have killed her.0[/quote]

He did and he didn't, but thanks for trying to shame her, Mr. Taliban.[/quote]

Come on.  About the riskiest thing you can do is get caught cheating if your spouse is a psychopath, physically abusive.  She’s lucky she didn’t get caught and got out.  But, yes, he’s awful and I would still have left before that.  Didn’t she confide in yiu about the abuse?  Didn’t you try to help her?[/quote]

I knew about the emotional abuse but not the physical until she divorced. She was too embarrassed to share that part and I would have intervened. I tried to help her leave before but she had zero confidence, had gained weight, and saw herself as someone not worthy of love. I really think her affair helped her see herself in a better light.[/quote]

This was me too. The affair was my only source of strength. He made me feel loved and valued. It was only when the affair ended that I felt the full impact of being alone, and that hurts like hell.[/quote]

I'm sure his wife hurts like hell after finding out a man she gave unconditional trust to, had an entire life and children with, was banging you.  That pain is visceral and causes severe trauma, especially as she tries to piece together all of the times he was with you when he said he was somewhere else.

Nope.  You get zero sympathy for your pain as you were part and parcel of another woman's.[/quote]

+100

And we never had a dry spell and had sex a few times a week still at 20 years of marriage when he had affair (and while it was oncoming and I was oblivious)  Just wanted variety/escape from himself at midlife so went online to find a messed up married individual.

Nobody will ever convince that committing adultery is justified.  Just leave.  Don’t gaslight and expose your spouse to stis or risk knocking someone up or meeting a loon hellbent on wrecking a family when it doesn’t go the way she planned.[/quote]

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