Reply to I feel like I was a much nicer and kinder person when I was younger.

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Reply to "I feel like I was a much nicer and kinder person when I was younger."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We've all been through a lot since the start of the pandemic AND you're in the prime time to be experiencing perimenopause and hormonal shifts. Were you super nice as a teenager when you were experiencing hormonal shifts? Probably not.

I think you need to cut yourself some slack. It sounds like you're really hard on yourself and have super high expectations for life and yourself. Now that they aren't matching, you are beating yourself up, which is just making things worse.

I do think therapy could help, and I don't think it means you are "weak," as you said. I don't know why you would think that.

What others have said about shifting perspective on what matters and how much you are willing to put up with are also very real and do not need to mean you are a less nice person. You can be kind and nice while prioritizing what matters to you and saying "no" and not caring what other people think of your decisions and actions.

A research-based tip I got that has helped is to think of three happy things from the day as you are falling asleep. Imaging yourself rewiring your brain to be thinking more positive, happy thoughts as you do this. Keep it up for at least three months, and see if it helps your mood overall. Your brain can get in a rut of seeing the negative and thinking about the negative. Once you start thinking about the good things and really paying attention to the good feelings they bring with them, it can really change and rewire your brain for more positive thinking overall.[/quote]

Thanks for your thoughtful reply.
I deleted the rest of my reply as it’s too depressing.

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