Reply to Scenes From a Marriage- I was Mira

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow that's amazing OP and PP who were able to see something in art and better understand yourself.

I also one day had an epiphany that, however justified I was in being annoyed with my husband (who doesn't even understand what "emotional labor" means, much less how much he shoves off on me) I was letting irritation and resentment swallow up all my joy. And I just... let it go. [/quote]

Same here but along with “letting it go” I no longer have respect or attraction for my spouse . But I am certainly happier with zero expectations from them! For anything!! It’s working for now, have kids at home and in k-12. Not sure what I’ll decide once they leave. [/quote]

Sounds like you didn't let it go.[/quote]

How so? I don't ACCEPT my Do Nothing spouse's role, but I no longer EXPECT anything from them. Thus I'm detached and not constantly disappointed or let down. I'm happy. THey probably think everything is normal and great - despite the fact that they don't talk with use, relate to use or know WTF is ever going on.

Sure I'd be happy with a functional spouse, parent, homeowner around and someone to talk with on a variety of things, but I now get that from my friends and family and due to the children I am stuck in this arrangement (due to having had children). I've already mourned and grieved my lack of a spouse/parent of the children, but I don't spend energy on it any longer. Is that not "letting go"

Divorcing and coparenting with them would be the same or worse, especially for the children. for them it could be downright dangerous. [/quote]

I don't think you can both be so bitter about it all and have let it go, at least not like the PP you responded to. She let it go and it opened her up to appreciate what is worth appreciating. If there is truly nothing there to appreciate at all, then you should really get a divorce. [/quote]

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