Reply to How to respond to someone who is being sanctimonious?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it's clear that you don't like your SILs, and you feel that they don't care about you or your family of origin, but that seems a side issue relative to whether your DH is doing his fair share in HIS family of origin.[/quote]

And you think their communications with you are "santimonious" for whatever reasons. Your DH is the one responsible for this situation with his mother; you get a pass. You should do your best to at least be pleasant, and not judge them for their low-working status or their HHI (which you are likely jealous of) It's clear you and the SILs pretty much can't stand each other.[/quote]

OP again. My opinion on my SILs would be different if they had treated me like proper family from day one of our marriage. I'm 53, DH is 62 and we've been married for 23 years.

In those 23 years, my 2 SILs have NEVER:

- called/texted me to say hi

- shown a genuine desire to meet up with me for coffee or a sisterly chat, not even before we moved away from the area (we used to live about 40 minutes apart). My attempts to arrange to meet up with them for coffee/lunch over the years were usually met with 'Sorry, I'm too busy'. That's not to say that I never met up with them, but 9 out of 10 times they seemed to have better things to do.

- shown any interest in me as a person, my interests, my opinions

- asked about my job (they know my job is very important to me)

- asked about my close relatives who live overseas (my parents are dead)

- made an effort to engage in any type of dialogue or discussion with me on any topic

From the day I met them I have always been pleasant and polite to them, asking them about their lives and their work and their kids, staying neutral and not expressing too many opinions. . We have never had arguments. BUT ... they just ignore me during family gatherings. Literally. The last time we spent Christmas Day at SIL1, neither of the 2 SILs said a word to me during the 5 or 6 hours we were there, I'm not joking. When I started talking to them, they quickly started talking to someone else (mainly MIL), or changed the topic.

They only contact me when they need something from me.

As for their low-working status, SIL1's husband inherited a lot of money and they invested in real estate. SIL2 got a good divorce settlement and doesn't want a regular job. She takes on some freelance work now and then.

My DH loves his sisters because they're his sisters but he has very little in common with them so he doesn't engage with them apart from issues relating to MIL.
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