Reply to How to respond to someone who is being sanctimonious?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In a nutshell, they often sound like this when it concerns situations relating to MIL, who is very elderly. A typical example could be the things they do for MIL, how much time they spend with her, etc. 
Our point of view is that it's not a competition.[/quote]

I don't think they're trying to compete with you. They're probably ungraciously [b]asking for more help with your MIL, or at least thanks for all the work they are doing. Your saying you don't see it as a competition makes it sounds like you're checked out.[/b] Not sure if you are, but I'd be asking myself if you and your DH are doing your fair share. Since you're not living there, perhaps that means spending more money, or coming in for respite help, or offering to do research from afar. [/quote]

This.  Do more, OP, then come back and tell us how it is going.  Right now you're doing nothing and complaining about the people who are doing much more.[/quote]

My DH is already doing research from afar. He takes care of all her household admin, finances, budgeting, banking, investments.

To those who think I'm the bad guy here, when my parents were ill and dying I did not get any emotional support from my 2 SILs. My parents died when they were decades younger than MIL is now. I knew at the time that SILs couldn't do much as my parents lived overseas. But they could have asked me from time to time how my parents were doing or shown some interest. Even now they never ask about my close elderly relatives overseas, as if they don't exist.
Why so one-sided?[/quote]

What?  You seriously expected them to help your YOUR parents?

You aren’t doing anything.  Your DH is doing a bare minimum.  Can’t he take 10 minute a day to talk to his mom on the phone?  That would help.[/quote]

DH talks to his mom on the phone most days.

And why should DH's parents trump my parents? No, of course I never expected my SILs to offer physical labor for my parents, if that's what you're referring to. My parents lived on a different continent. I did all the physical labor for them by going out there and staying for extended periods of time. But SILs could have shown me that they cared. Asked after my parents maybe? Talked to me? Anything?
They never ask about any relatives of mine. It's not because they don't see these people , hat they don't exist.

If you're wondering, MIL and I have a very good relationship.
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