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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Mom of 11 yo b/g twins here. Do your kids a favor and don't ask. My kids are close too and have many overlapping friends, but when one twin was invited I only sent one. For whatever reason, they only wanted a playdate with one twin. I suspect that many times one twin missed out on something because people thought the twins were a package deal and they didn't have room for an extra kid, or wanted all girls, or all boys. I deliberately made a point to send them separately. 
When they were younger, there were some hurt feelings. I would have to cheer up the left out one. But now, they don't mind.[/quote]

Mom of 10 yo b/b twins. I agree with this mom. Posters who don’t have twins just do not get it that the first few times this happens, the uninvited twin typically feels more rejection than a different age sibling would because usually twins get similar stuff (both would get ice cream cones or new backpacks or whatever — that’s how their lives have gone up to this point). Non twin moms seem to act like the rejected twin must be taught a harsh lesson that they’re not always included, but I personally felt awful because I was trying to teach my own kids to always be inclusive if friends ask to play, etc. Many mixed messages. That isn’t to say you should ask to send both. You should not. It’s impolite to invite yourself somewhere, so the right thing to do is send the one twin and do something fun with the other (alone time with a parent is extra fun for twins this age). I also feel like my kids missed out on invites and carpools etc. like this other poster bc it’s way easier for another parent to host one other child vs. having two extra 5 year olds (and ppl worry about a gang up dynamic by the twins  that doesn’t usually actually happen irl). What usually ended up happening for us was I debt the one kid (brother was sad), I’d reciprocate and all 3 would play nicely together, then the other child asked mom if both twins could come the next time. Like PP, mine ended up with many overlapping friends this way. [/quote]

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