Reply to Making an ADHD kid apologize to the teacher and whole class after a meltdown

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OMG no!  What in the world?  To the whole class?!?! The teacher wasn't doing it in order to help OP's child at all.  Class disruptions are common at that age.  Does she ask every child to apologize to the whole class?

I would also ask why the teacher was asking her to do an activity which clearly frustrated her previously.  I would really worry about implementation of the IEP with this teacher. She seems to have some very old fashioned ideas about kids which isn't good for ANY of the kids.[/quote]

This.... is an argument against integrated classrooms. A teacher in an integrated classroom cannot select activities based solely on the needs of one child. I could see suggesting that she do a different activity than the rest of the class maybe, but it depends on the activity -- maybe it was teaching a foundational skill they need to move into another area, and not learning it could lead to additional frustration later. It is really hard to make a blanket judgment without understanding the details of the situation.

Which is why I'm also reluctant to say the teacher was wrong in suggesting the apology. It's really not clear from OP's comments how this was carried out. If the teacher demanded a command apology in front of the entire class with everyone staring at the girl, then yes, I agree -- shaming and in appropriate. But if the teacher had a conversation with the class about what happened and was empathetic and thoughtful about it, tying the situation to classroom rules around mutual respect and kindness, and part of the conversation involved OP's daughter voluntarily (not forced) apologizing for the outburst, I feel totally different.

Like there's a very big difference between "Larla, stand up and apologize to the class for your outburst right now!" and "Ok, now that we've all talked as a group about how this situation made us feel, Larla, would you be interested in apologizing to your classmates? It is up to you but sometimes apologizing can help us all move forward."

I don't think apologies are automatically bad and there is a developmentally useful way of deploying them if they are voluntary and part of general conflict resolution.[/quote]

jfc no. I can literally think of nothing worse to do in response to a meltdown than having a whole-class discussion and apology about it with the child present. are you for real?

as for the activity … umm the whole point of the IEP is modification and accommodation. Says it right there on the tin - “individualized.” 
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