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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think  you neeed to do some soul searching and see if you really want kids. [b]So many people say I have always dreamed of my future with kids, well no offense but duh? That's the future we're sold from the time we are kids ourselves.[/b] IS that really what you want, or is just you wanting it because you think you should want it  because it's what everyone else does.

If you have really thought about it and truly want kids then, you've got to break up there really isn't a compromise on this.

IT's extremely easy to be pressured into having kids, when you aren't really into it especially as a woman. Women also typically end up doing the bulk of parenting.  Kudos to your girlfriend for figuring this out and being honest with you about it, and maturely explaining her change in feelings.

[/quote]

This is really true.  My ex came from a large-ish Italian-American family.  He thought he really wanted to be a family man, married, lots of kids, etc.  I think he was truly surprised when he realized he did not want to be married or have a child.  Too bad he realized it when DS was about 3 months old.  Fast forward, I remarried, DH adopted DS, we had more kids, have been married more than 20 yrs, and exDH has never married or had kids.  He's been happy (I think) with his career, travel, doing his hobbies and serial dating.  He really didn't want the family life.

OP:  decide what you really want.  If your girlfriend truly doesn't want the same thing you do, it's better to move on now.  Really.  Not everyone gets lucky in their ending like I did.  [/quote]

"Wanting kids" is biological, for both men and women. There are people who take exception to this, like OP's girlfriend currently believes, but that does not mean that at 50, she's not going to really look back at regret this. I know more than a few women who cavalierly thought in their 30s that they didn't want kids, and now, in their 50s, they realize what an egregious mistake that was.

OP, I'm sorry this happened to you, but I agree with the others - your girlfriend is giving you the gift of honesty of where she is right now. That's all any of us can do. You need to recogize your own reality - that this isn't the match you thought it was - and move on, sooner rather than later. You're not getting any younger either.[/quote]

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