Reply to Ready to cut brothers out of mother’s Will!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You sound dramatic and awful.

Asking someone to take a dog is a big responsibility. Just because he's not married and doesn't have kids doesn't mean he wants a dog. If the dog is old it'll have a lot of medical problems. Has it occurred to you that maybe the brother doesn't have pets because he doesn't WANT that responsibility?

Maybe your brothers wanted to put your mom in a place where she'd be nearby and they could visit her regularly. Just because you invested a few hours to find a different place doesn't leave you entitled to tons of money.

Stop being greedy and a martyr. Man, you really just sound like an awful person.[/quote]

And what about OP? She is contributing her time and effort into finding solutions that work for THEIR mom.  The minimum her brother can do is take care of the dog. And did you read the part where brother wanted to put mom into that hole to save money?
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It sounds like the brothers' solution would have worked for their mother, too.  It just didn't work for OP.  [/quote]

Thing is, for some, daily visits would be better than a nice view. So OPs choice might not be all that great. [/quote]

Yeah, my mom got COVID in an assisted living facility and died. (And this was well into the pandemic when mitigation was in place, it was just not followed.) So finding proper care is the issue here, not a "a nice view."  A dirty facility is a giant red flag. And there's absolutely no way of knowing that her mom would have gotten daily visits from the brothers anyway (ask me how I know!).

To the OP, when my parents got sick and had to be moved to a facility, and then a different facility, and then my dad had to go to yet another place after my mom died... it was by far the most stressful period of my life. It's hard when you have siblings who don't agree (and in my family's case it was all respectful, but it's still hard!). And it's been my experience, and the experience of many people I know, is that the daughters are the ones doing the bulk of the work. It's not fair but it's the truth.

As for the will, first of all, it's not your decision, but secondly, no one should be making major life decisions like that in the midst of a crisis. Don't do something you'll forget.

The PP who said that whomever is taking care of your mom should get paid is correct. The bulk of taking care of my parents (before they went into AL) fell on my sisters. They were paid for their time out of my parents' accounts. It's the most equitable way to handle things. At this point there probably won't be much of an inheritance for anyone, but I am glad that their money went for their care. That's a lot more important than an inheritance.

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