Reply to How to survive separating in place with a cheater

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This happened to me. How old are your kids?

1. He moved to the guest room. This was easy since he accidentally had his text messages go to my son's phone so my son knew about the affair.
2. I did everything I normally do. I did not change a thing.
3. I literally was not rude, just do your thing.
4. I got out of the house a lot, took kids to activities, went for a walk, did yoga, shopping, etc.
5. I refused to fight. If he tried to start something I walked away to my room or for a walk or took the dog out.
6. He can't explain himself. This is on you figure it out yourself I am no longer your support system. call you girlfriend.
7. I knew the OW through friends and made sure they knew I asked him to move out but he refused.

Look up 180 of affairs.

Naturally he refused to move out because of his ego and the girl friend showed her true color and freaked out. He dumped her.

[b]We lived together for 4 years until the youngest went to college and he moved out.[/b]

Bought him out of the house and I am sooooo happy!

You will get there. I have a full life without him and you will too.[/quote]

New poster. Re: the bold -- you remained in the same house but living separately for four years? I get that he was, I guess, staying "for the kids" until youngest went to college but -- four years? Most of the "under the same roof but going to divorce" posts talk about doing this arrangement only long enough to settle on custody, decide who moves out and when etc. But four years is a very long time, even if you're doing the total "this no longer bothers me, go about your business." Didn't your kids, especially as the youngest would have been a teen the whole time, realize exactly what was going on? Were they fine with parents who were never around simultaneously--? I"m truly NOT asking judgementally, PP, I just was bowled over when I got to that line in the post. All the steps you outlined are perfectly understandable but I guess I can't imagine living like that, with a cheater roommate with whom I used to share sex and love, under the same roof, plus the added stress (to me at least) of always having to make myself scarce when he was around. How did you cope emotionally? [/quote]

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