Reply to How to survive separating in place with a cheater

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hell no. If he wants to blow up your world, he can be the one to move out.  You have to be separated for a year before divorce, you don’t have to do it in the same house!  Some people choose to, to save money, but no, this divorce is 100% him so he can move out into a crappy apartment.[/quote]

He refuses to move out. He is pressuring me to just be civil and amicable. He keeps telling me we can still be civil with each other.[/quote]

This is where you hold your ground. Absolutely not.  He is not allowed to have whatever he wants. Life does not and should not work that way.[/quote]

I've asked him to leave and he said absolutely not. He's holding his ground due to financial limitations and the impact to the kids. [b]He's putting this on me - pressuring me to be amicable and a kind coparent. [/b]

I would have done this if we went to counseling for 12 months and THEN figured out beyond a shadow of a doubt that we should divorce.

But he robbed me of that opportunity. He broke "no contact" during our marriage counseling and has been texting her daily since then. He says he still loves me and always will, but he keeps saying the damage is done. How can he still love me and blow up his marriage for a text-based relationship (he doesn't even see her IRL due to being in different states) AND expect me to be this kind coparent under a shared roof???[/quote]

Jesus. I'm getting PTSD from this. This is classic gaslighting. Are you in individual therapy to help identify this nonsense? [/quote]

That is not gaslighting. That is being practical. She should remove himself from everything dealing with him except the kids but she should be an amicable coparent because that’s what’s best for the kids no matter what happened between them. [/quote]

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