Reply to If you ever had an affair, how do you look back on it?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband told me his best friend from college who married quite young drunkenly cheated a few times in the first year of marriage and also on his bachelor party. Never told his wife and she's totally oblivious to all of it. Claims he hasn't since. They've been married 20 years![/quote]

Your husband most likely has as well.  Men/women with friends that did/do this almost always have as well.[/quote]

Omg. Yes! For years I heard about my husband’s best friend that was cheating on wife.  My husband always acted like it was wrong and we’d be like “I can’t believe he’s doing that”.  Well- guess what? 18 years in I found out (completely blindsided!!) my husband was cheating.  Never ever in a million years would I (or his/my family) have thought he’d ever do this.  Perfect family man and husband and all.  We had a great sex life/great marriage/relationship.

I have heard from numerous other people similar stories.  It’s some weird psychological way of confessing without confessing and testing the waters.[/quote]

Think about it. Would you want a best friend that treated their spouse that way? Or one that hit their spouse? It's ALL abuse.  I would dump them in a heart beat. His behavior was showing you he actually condoned it.

I would have told his wife even anon if I had to. I hope you divorced him because I'll bet he did it more than you know. That's usually the case.[/quote]

Yes.  50-year old friend's husband found out about her 4-year affair during Covid.  He was fooled into believing it was a one time thing (not the multi-year affair it was)  AND has no idea there were other affairs and infidelities before this.  To the outside world she is a SAHM that projects a wholesome 'boy mom' image and homemaker.  But, she secretly hates her husband and could give 2 sh*ts about her teen sons and offloads them on husband so she can carry out her infidelities.  The poor guy is a sap.  He has zero idea.[/quote]

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