Reply to It's really hard for me to feel sorry for people who were last of their classmates to turn 21:

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Reply to "It's really hard for me to feel sorry for people who were last of their classmates to turn 21:"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]But what they don't seem to realize is that this is only because they had a straight clean path, as opposed to the messy crooked path I had; a path that being the first of my friends to turn 21 wasn't worth.[/quote]

You're right, they don't know what you went through. Their comment is not about you. I suspect the conversation would go very differently if they knew what you had been through. People complain in the abstract without intending it to hurt others. E.g. I'm sure it hurts parents who have lost children to hear other parents complain about their living children. That doesn't mean parents should never complain, but of course they should take their audience into consideration. You're hearing complaints about drinking age from people who don't know you are part of the audience.

I say this with kindness: perhaps a counselor can help you get past this, so you don't personalize comments not intended to attack you.[/quote]

In fairness to OP, the sentiment expressed demonstrates the prevailing thought amongst young people, which is that anyone who is not a member of one or more marginalized groups or who has experienced great personal strategy is insensitive and uncaring for expressing any negative feeling or challenge in their own lives because someone has it worse. People need to stop having feelings, or at least talking about their feelings if they haven't had hard enough lives. Sad because your mother died?  You are b*tch. Some people didn't have mothers or had abusive mothers. Sad about your kid's disability?  Selfish, selfish. Some parents have children who died of cancer. How can people be so selfish as to have grief or sadness about dead kids? Some of people were never able to have kids. And one and on.

OP, on top of continuing to work on your anxiety, it might make sense to work on letting go of your anger at other people for their complaints, especially internet strangers who don't know your past. At minimum, perhas consider the context when you hear other people's complaints too. Yes, waiting to go to bars isn't a big deal, but getting left behind when your friend group engages in activities you can't participate in can be difficult. Compassion goes both ways.

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