Reply to SAHM’s - anyone successfully convince DH to support their staying home long term?

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Reply to "SAHM’s - anyone successfully convince DH to support their staying home long term?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]TBH it may be that he really doesn't see the value in some of your activities.  Sometimes men are fine with a messier house, no school volunteering, a generally less curated life, less kid activities, simpler food, etc.  Be prepared to hear that even though it may hurt.  [b]What you see as valuable effort on behalf of the family he may see as a discretionary leisure activity of yours.[/b]

And be 1000% sure your financial planning is realistic.  Being "not spendy" isn't going to make college and retirement savings appear.[/quote]

Agree, they need to look hard and in detail at their planning for college tuition and their own retirement and an emergency fund, etc.

Re, the bold -- if that is the case, the couple needs to be open to serious talking about why they had this disconnect for so long. That's a big issue, to me (I'm not OP, BTW).

The first paragraph seems to indicate that "activiites" like housework, volunteering, kid activities etc. are indeed not especially important. The use of the term "curated life" kind of jumps out here. No one said OP was doing a curated life with Instagram-ready gourmet meals ("simpler food" preferred), or was overly focused on a perfectly neat home ("a messier house" is fine) etc. I figure maybe you didn't realize it but the first paragraph comes across as somewhat assuming that OP might be doing things to be, well, "curated" and picture-perfect. That may not be the case at all. Maybe you didn't intend it that way, but it almost sounds like a script for a man to use when telling a woman what she's been doing for years was fundamentally for her own entertainment and ego. Maybe the house is pretty messy and the food is simple but there are still valid reasons for OP to want to stay home. [/quote]

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