Reply to How to accept that we didn't have a second child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm 47. I have a wonderful husband and amazing 7 year-old son. I think I can bear not having another child but I can't help but feel so sad at times for my son that he won't have a sibling.

I have regrets. About starting a family late...we went back and forth about having children. And then we decided to "just have one." But when I made that decision, I really had no idea what that really meant. And then I had a hard time getting pregnant. We needed a medicated IUI to conceive. I had a very healthy pregnancy and actual birth but we encountered a few medical scares/issues that consumed us the first few years of his life (reflux, delayed speech, and an ER visit with my 5 week old baby). And I'm sort of an anxious person by nature so all that added stress was challenging.

Anyway, when we revisited having another a year or two after our son's birth, we just weren't ready. My husband pushed back especially hard. He's an equal partner and he really felt as though he had nothing more to give. And by then I was approaching 42-43.

I love our family, though this has been an ongoing issue for our marriage. But overall I am actually content with our family of 3. I just have such worries that my child will be unhappy about his lot in life as an only. On occasion he voices a desire for a sibling. But at his age, it's hard to tell whether he truly understands what it means. I guess the best way to describe it is that I am not mourning the opportunity of having another child as much as I am mourning a different life that I/we could have offered our son. Will he feel sadness when he hears about other family experiences? I also worry the he will undoubtedly feel burdened as we age as I read how difficult that time might be on only children.

I suppose I'm posting here to see if there are others here who have walked a similar path. How did you cope? [/quote]

Wow - I could have written this.

I applied to adopt last week.  Hope we will expand this way.[/quote]

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