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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Yes, younger son has mental health challenge, he is on medicine and has one to 
one therapy weekly. Older son has never been violent to me before, he only got violent to 
his brother when being provoked, he is much stronger, they are 2 years apart. 
I didn’t want to take his phone and activities away. He has some social challenges, recently 
has been trying to reaching out to find a friend circle, but is having a hard time. He already
feel socially isolated, I don’t want to make it worse. I feel the phone and outings(including 
sports) is good for his metal health.

He went out for a sport activity the whole morning. He came back, apologized to me again,
I asked what for, he said he was angry, now he is not angry anymore. I didn’t say anything,
then he walked away. 
I’m not ready to have a talk with him, because I don’t know what to do.[/quote]

Look, OP, you can’t not talk to him when he comes to apologize. You’ve done that twice, right? He will stop trying. TALK. Thank him for talking to you and apologizing. If you don’t think he is sorry for hitting you, tell him you feel like he doesn’t fully understand what he did. Then tell him what it felt like to you, and what you feel now. MODEL for him how he should talk and behave in this situation so he can learn. Punish him clearly with loss of privileges or whatever - never punish someone by withholding communication or love. You need to try to understand what motivated him. Does he really feel so desperate to have you understand his frustration with his brother that he hit you so you felt pain? Is he actually furious with you for making him deal with his brother’s behavior? Does know hitting is very wrong and you can’t hit your mother but he has impulse control problems and he lost control? Those are all different problems and you’d approach them differently. If these aren’t conversations you can have (and teens are resistant to talking about motivations and feelings) then a therapist needs to help you.[/quote]

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