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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.  To the PP who thinks I should just treat him as my own kid... do you HAVE stepkids?  I was a stepkid x2 and now I'm a stepmom.  It's a different relationship than you have with your own children/parents. Maybe not if you live with them from childhood, but when you see them every other weekend, even from the time they are babies, it's different. I am obviously involved in parenting DSS, but the ultimate parenting decisions are not up to me.

Anyway, we definitely have been trying to use the example route.  One of our friend's kids completely screwed up his life (eviction, jail time), so that was a topic of conversation.  No idea if it's actually sinking in or not.  I think he at least gets that he should be more careful?

I'll say again: there is NO WAY DH or I would get behind the boarding school idea, even if there was any way we could afford it. We both know way too many people who ended up worse off than ever after being sent away to one of those places.  Since DH & I live in a different school district from DSS' mom, we'd bring him here if things got bad enough.  To be clear, if we had our way he'd be here already, but DSS prefers to stay with his friends & his mom prefers to have him with her. But we've talked with him about him not having a choice about that if his behavior gets worse.[/quote]

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