Reply to Did NOT have my dream wedding and many years later I’m still sad

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So I got married under a myriad of different stressful circumstances and as much my wedding day is a very disappointing memory for me.

I was a broke grad student when I fell in love with my equally broke grad student boyfriend who proposed to me upon learning that I’d have to leave the country after my studies. We didn’t have money nor our parents support ( birth our parents were struggling financially at that point) so we went to the courthouse to get married. We wanted to have a proper wedding however so we said in a few years when we had some money we could do it. Meanwhile we got poorly paid jobs and due to the high cost of living saved just enough for him to finally buy me a proper engagement ring and then we had about 12k to plan a wedding party. Meanwhile his parents weren’t thrilled that he was marrying an immigrant and they were unsupportive emotionally and also financially.

We picked the cheapest venue, the cheapest caterer and the flowers were from Costco.

Overall it came together beautifully as it by magic and it was very sweet that it was all of our effort to put it together.

But these days both my sister and sister in law are planning their weddings. Each of them is planning the typical DC posh wedding extravaganza with tons of money thrown at it personal and special touches.

I wanted all of that too! I’m 35 years old now and it still hurts! [/quote]

Grow up.  You're mad that your parents and in-laws didn't give you money, although you acknowledge that they were struggling financially at that time.  They were supposed to go into debt to give you more expensive flowers?  My whole wedding cost less than $12K.

Also, am I reading this correctly -- you got married at the courthouse because you didn't have money, and then you saved up money to buy a "proper" engagement ring AFTER you were married, and when you, poor struggling couple, finally saved up $12K, you blew it on a party?

You HAD a proper wedding, in that you got married.  You even got a catered party.  Most people don't have a "typical DC posh extravaganza."  Most people IN DC don't have this.  Wealthy people have this, or people who are dumb enough to go into debt for a wedding.  You're unhappy because you're obsessed with what's "proper," which you apparently define based on cost, and which you determine by comparing yourself to people with more money than you.  You'll never be happy if that's how you evaluate your life.

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