Reply to If you have no childhood trauma, what's that like?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had a really idyllic childhood with wonderful parents and siblings.  I grew up in a household without fighting between the adults.   As kids we bickered like all normal kids do.

As an adult I discovered I didn’t know how to fight. Every argument with a significant other caused me so much stress and angst because I didn’t grow up in a household where those exchanges occurred and to me they were monumentally huge/negative events.  I think this was exacerbated because my partners did grow up in traumatic dysfunctional homes so they didn’t have the healthiest habits for disagreements and I had no significant experience with disagreements.[/quote]

Alllll of this. If you saw White Lotus I am Rachel when my husband complains - physically uncomfortable. I am hardwired to defuse conflict.[/quote]

You get these reactions because the households you grew up in were conflict avoidant, not because you grew up in a happy household. There are many happy households where the children are able to see their parents successfully and healthily navigate conflict. If you never saw that growing up, I guarantee you that your household wasn’t as happy as you think. At least one of your parents (probably your mom) didn’t have a voice.

Zero-conflict households are as unhealthy and toxic as high-conflict households. [/quote]

I buy this.[/quote]

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