Reply to Someone please explain me marriage in America

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "Someone please explain me marriage in America"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, we have separate accounts, and honestly, it would feel weird to me to do things the way you do them, the same way it would be weird to share an email account with my husband or to have a shared cell phone. I have my bank account, where my checks go, and he has his. We don't share credit cards. Our names are both on the mortgage and the utilities, but that's it. It works for us to have one person designated to deal with mortgage, one person designated to deal with the power bill, water bill, daycare bill, etc.

I say "it would feel weird to me" because while I love my husband and our marriage is great, it [b]is important to me that we also maintain our independence. People are probably going to throw out ideas like "what if you get divorced" and I agree that in the extremely unlikely event that we were to divorce, you would have a harder time separating financially from your husband than I would. [/b]To me, getting a joint bank account when I got married felt exactly the same as changing my name. Why would I give up the name I've always had? Why would I close the bank accounts and credit card accounts that predate my marriage in favor of a new, joint account? It was not a symbolic gesture that I wanted to make.

If it sounds like I am judging the way you do things, that is probably a little bit true, but your post seems to assume that my marriage is "abnormal" because we don't share a bank account and that's ridiculous. My bank account number has NOTHING to do with my marriage.[/quote]

So, you really were NOT "all in" on your marriage.[/quote]

How is PP not "all in" on her marriage?  What's wrong with being independent & protecting yourself?  People change - sometimes in different directions.  While it's syrupy sweet to think love lasts forever, it's really naive, as many of us will end up divorced. I already know 4 women in that situation, and all four are grateful for their decision to keep their financial independence/jobs.[/quote]

I'm the PP who is apparently not all in, and thanks, PP, for your support.

I just wanted to make it crystal clear though for people who seem to doubt it that I for one am not retaining my separate financial accounts out of a fear of divorce. I am not in any way concerned about divorce, nor do I think that one should consider potential divorce as a factor in making marital decisions. Our not combining was, as another PP said, inertia. I was simply pointing out that on this board, in this area, many people WILL say that you should maintain some kind of financial independence in the event of divorce. I do not personally think that, but there are a lot of people who do.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics