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[quote=Anonymous]
Enlist a doctor she trusts to talk with her. Go with her to the doctor. Prime the doctor in advance that you are concerned about the prednisone, personality changes, whether she is possibly depressed too (she should be screened), whether she should be drinking at all. She needs to hear from someone who is NOT YOU. If your concerns are unfounded the doctor should say that too.

Your post reads as if you have been looking online for "what she should be doing at this point in recovery" and while that's not inherently bad at all, it also can give an unrealistic impression. If you think she should be exercising, are you going to exercise alongside her? If you want her to stop having wine every single day, are you going to give up or cut back on your own consumption to match her cutting back? If you think she needs a counselor, which actually sounds like a good idea, are you in therapy or counseling yourself, OP? Don't discount the idea. Family members of seriously ill people need outside help too.

I truly want to trash you for your post, based on what sounds whiny at best and callous at worst, but you've gotten plenty of trashing here already. I think you need a reality check: She really should be dead and she's not. Every day is an  unearned miracle. Why did you marry her? Think about that and remember that the person you married is still there -- yes, it feels like she has changed, but you have no idea, or just a second-hand idea, what it is like to have your body and brain ravaged by disease first, and the treatment second. You can take proactive steps to help her but it sounds like your expectations may be out of whack and you feel she should be more "back to normal" by now. Not the case.

If you are focused on lack of sex, and fearing you will never have sex again, you really do need to (1) remember AGAIN that she should be dead and isn't, and get some gratitude and a spine, and (2) get yourself into therapy ASAP to get things into perspective.

Actually you might also benefit hugely from joining a support group for spouses of cancer patients. The people there will be people who have gone through what you are going through. They will be frank about things like lack of sex and a partner/patient who is collapsed on the couch every night, etc. Start here: https://www.cancercare.org/support_groups/77-caregiver_support_group_spouses_partners
This is an online group but if you eventually can find one in person, locally, that would help even more. You need perspective. Support groups can provide it. [/quote]

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