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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just want to say that when my parents gave bogus curfews like 10pm, I just "spent the night with girlfriends". It wasn't the safest and sometimes I really didn't have a place to stay. [/quote]

I know I'll be slammed for this given DCUM, but we never let dc's sleep over at friends when young and now they know not to ask.  Makes me feel so. much. better. about them going to parties, etc.   I also wait up when they come home (not always, but sometimes)  to assess the situation.  My dd's friend lets her sleep over at our house, but every single time she's done so, I've gotten a text from the mom 'thanking me for having her' which I think is her way of making sure she is actually staying over.

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Hi I went to college with kids who had parents like you. Those kids were crazy wild and engaging in all sorts of dangerous behavior. I was over it by college and barely drank. There is a world of difference between parents who allow too much and parents who allow nothing.[/quote]

I’m too lazy to do your research but that’s SUCH A COMMON TROPE it’s really overdone and plenty of studies show it not to be true. [/quote]
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I'm a different poster, but I don't care what the studies say as this also seemed true from my experience. I had a lot of freedom in high school and younger but was also exposed to a fair amount by a pretty young age. By college, I was pretty much bored with drinking, partying, etc. that I focused almost entirely on academics and career related pursuits by the time I got to college (while all my peers who had helicopter parents were going nuts and had trouble coping with all the newfound freedom).[/quote]

Ummm this was me to a teee.  Counted down the days until college so I could finally break free.  Partied way too hard and am thankful I made it thru.  Made a lot of bad choices and am a lucky person.  You have to give your kids some freedom or they are going to go to college possibly far away and do whatever they want and possibly be out of control.  My friends from college all still talk about it[/quote]

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