Reply to Would you decline family money to avoid their unspoken strings?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your aunt should not give you anything. Why? Because she has not made any demands of you and you are basically angry over nothing. To me it means that you are a selfish person.[/quote]

Op doesn’t sound angry - just disinterested in playing along. [/quote]

+1[/quote]

She has not clearly described what she needs to play along with. My very catholic family gives me nothing but I'm still respectful of their beliefs (I too am an atheist!). We just don't talk about it too much and when we do I don't tell them all I think they're stupid or delusional (and importantly, I actually don't think this).

My mom likes to give gifts with a lot of strings and I used to say no. And then we had a big thing about it and I was very clear that I didn't want gifts with any expectations, that I was fine getting nothing, and if she wanted to gift something I would not turn her away but she had to understand that. And she accepted it and we've been fine ever since (she does give us stuff).

At some point I decided it was silly to deprive myself of something just so I could feel I had the moral high ground. So now I take the gifts and can do so because I did the hard work of having a difficult conversation. [/quote]

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