Reply to Boyfriend Mad I Won’t Move In

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What were your reasons why?[/quote]

OP here. Past relationship. I spent a year with my ex. I moved in at 6 months with him and we planned to get married. I thought I knew him very well, but engagement never came, and I started to see more things about him I didn’t like that I never saw before. I feel like you can really never know someone in that short amount of time. Lust blinds you for that first 6-12 months. This has nothing to do with my feelings. It does not mean I don’t see a future with him and that I don’t love him. Why rush such a big decision that is meant to last a lifetime? So many people rush and then end up divorced. I don’t want to be one of them.

I asked him why he was becoming distant today and he said he’s not sure I love him, and he doesn’t want to get hurt. He explained that me rejecting him told him that I’m not really in love with him, and he is protecting himself from getting any closer to me. [/quote]

His reaction is not good.
You bringing up your ex also not good. I'm not sure this guy is right for you and it's probably best if you part ways. But you need to deal with your issues with your ex and not project it int o future relationships.[/quote]

OP here. My ex is not an issue. It’s an important life life lesson not to rush. That’s it. Even if I didn’t have the situation with my ex, I would still feel the same. [/quote]

It's an issue. Instead of simply saying you want to wait to get to know each other better, which is totally fine. You brought another man into and basically told your boyfriend he was going to be like him, all men are jerks etc.

Totally fine to want to wait. Not fine to bring old drama into a new relationship.

Another thing you may want to work on your picker because your ex sounds like a jerk and this one seems immature.[/quote]

OP here. I mentioning the life lesson I’ve learned from a past relationship on here, but my ex was not brought up into the conversation with my boyfriend. The only reason I have was that I was not comfortable moving so fast, and that I wanted to wait longer before making a serious commitment.

[/quote]

Ok that's good.  I'd say your boyfriend is a bit immature then if his reaction to being told no is to pull away and withdraw affection. I don't know that you need to break up with him right away, but you do need to file this information away.[/quote]

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