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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry but grow the f up. [/quote]

Gotta love these helpful posters....jesus.

OP, my DH and I have had this convo.  His parents are 1.5 hours away and mine are 22 hours away - so the situation is a little reversed.  But either way, his mom has shown massive interest in being here from the birth onward, which I have NO interest in b/c my mom is coming and is staying for 2 weeks to help me get situated and get comfortable with bf'ing, etc.  At the same time, I can't very well tell his parents they can't see their grandson.  So -- I've told him that I don't mind if his parents come and stay at our house while I am in the hospital.  They can come meet the baby at the hospital and go back to our house to spend the night.  But once I get out of the hospital, I either don't want anyone in our house or I want my mom.  And if other posters think that means I need to grow the F up -- whatever.  I know I will be stressed and unsure of myself and uncomfortable if my MIL is there and if she crosses a line with me then I know I'll lose it on her and really that's no good for anyone, now is it?  So, we get home from the hospital, they go back home and then they are free to return a few weeks later when I've gotten my bearings.  At that point, they are free to stay with us a bit longer.

I agree with the posters that you should let a little time pass and let things cool off between you and your DH.  Then try to talk to him calmly and ask him to please understand how hard and new this all is to you and that you'd really just appreciate it if he'd let you just be with your mom for a bit in the beginning.  You love his parents, you want them to be present in your child's life, but you just need a little time.  Ask if they could come while you are in the hospital and then leave when you come home and then return at a later time for a longer period.  If he is still holding out or being unreasonable, I'd pick up the phone and call his mom and explain your situation.  Tell her you love her, you want her to be involved, but since this is your first (I'm assuming), you just need a little space and time with your own mom to get adjusted.  She'll either understand and say okay, or be uncomfortable and not know what to say.  Either way, I doubt she'll argue and say she's coming and to hell with you.  this may cause issues with DH, but some things are worth it.  You have to decide.  Good luck![/quote]

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