Reply to Constantly rejected and I'm feeling embarrassed. I'm not sure what to do

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm 35 and I've never had a serious relationship. I dated someone 2 years ago who broke up with me and said I was very nice and sweet and anyone would be lucky to have me. Prior to that I was cheated on and I had a fwb before meeting my unfaithful ex. I have dated online and met people in person and the same results. People seem to want to date me because I'm nice and feel like I shouldn't be alone, but that isn't enough to sustain a relationship. I'm quite embarrassed as I do desire marriage and long-term partnership, but I can barely get into a relationship and I just don't see it happening. I'm the only one out of my friends who is in this situation, so I don't have anyone to turn to. [/quote]

What are your interests, OP? What is your personality like?[/quote]

I'm a huge sports fan, basketball specifically. My dad was a high school coach and my sibling played at the college level, so it's a big part of my life. Dating a sports fan is a must for me. I also love cooking, one of my favorite things to do with a partner. I read periodically and I love going to comedy shows and theater shows(live music and plays). Traveling is also an interest of mine. 
I'm very low key and it can sometimes take awhile for me to come out of my shell as I'm shy, especially when it comes to dating. I'm confident elsewhere. I'm excelling in my career, but those skills haven't translated to my dating life.[/quote]

OK so you sound pretty great! You just need a basketball guy, or a basketball-adjacent guy. How would you rate yourself in terms of attractiveness?[/quote]

I'm likely a 6-7, so about average. 5'5" and 150lbs, size 6. Think cute, nerdy, with glasses. I'm kind of a plain jane, but dress up when necessary. I choose comfort over being cute however.[/quote]

I know plenty of women who fit this description in relationships. What kind of guys do you go for . OP?[/quote]
Nerdy types who like sports. [b]Although, the last guy did like sports, he didn't like music and preferred NPR and podcasts. That would be an issue down the line because I like to jam out sometimes.[/b] [/quote]

OP, and I say this gently, there's a certain rigidity here.[/quote]

I actually think this is one of op's defense mechanisms she deploys to avoid being hurt again She finds reasons even very silly ones as for why things won't work out with a guy and therefore she won't open up. It seems rigid, but it makes perfect sense when you view it through the lens of trying to prevent hurt again.  I really think OP needs mayve a few sessions of therapy to help heal the past hurt so she can move forward[/quote]

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