Reply to Is yours the house the kids hang out at? How'd you get that to happen?

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Reply to "Is yours the house the kids hang out at? How'd you get that to happen?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t think the space itself matters much. Plenty of huge decked out houses go unused by kids.

It’s about the personalities of the kids (outgoing, highly social, loves having people in their personal space) and the parents (easy going, not strict about noise or messes, accommodating, friendly but not nosey).  [/quote]

Yeah, I grew up in a big house.  But my mom (who is obese, which I say just to help you get a mental image) would sit in the den watching soaps after school, wearing her nightgown that barely came to her knees and her super old bathrobe. She is SUPER judgmental and her face screams all that judgment even if her mouth doesn't say the words. She also made it very difficult for my brother and I to have friends over - we had to answer like, five questions and all answers had to be acceptable before she'd say yes, and then god forbid the friend wanted to change something.  So my brother and I can count on one or two hands each time we had a friend over in high school (and middle school), because it was such a big event.

I think my mother WANTED to be a cool laid back mom whose kids had friends over all the time. But she is SO controlling and uptight that she really couldn't handle it. Perfect example: Once I brought a friend home from high school - we had stayed late to try out for a play and then she couldn't find her bus so I suggested she come home with me. I introduced her to my mom, and my mom promptly told me, after saying hi to her, to guide her to the phone so she could call her dad to come pick her up. While she was on the phone with him, I asked my mom if I could give her a snack. "What are you going to offer her?" "Um, some cookies?" "No."  As soon as the girl was off the phone my mother suggested we go sit outside to wait for her dad. Like, I was scared if the girl asked if she could use the bathroom my mother would say no. It was super uncomfortable. After she left I got a lecture for two hours about why I thought it was acceptable to bring someone home without first getting permission. And then I got punished.

So yeah, I'm always giving my kids' friends snacks and trying to make them feel welcome and comfortable when they're over.[/quote]

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