Reply to Is yours the house the kids hang out at? How'd you get that to happen?

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Reply to "Is yours the house the kids hang out at? How'd you get that to happen?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
- I rarely if ever say no even if they ask at the last minute. I pretty much always say yes unless we have a prior commitment to not be home. Even if my adult friend was coming over, I still let the kids invite their friends. 
- I don't clean the house because they're coming over. This signals to my kids that asking me if friends can come over is an "easy ask" and not a big deal that means more work for me.  Of course, it is more work for me, but I don't want them to make this part of their calculation when deciding whether to invite friends over. 
- I purposely bought furniture that can take a beating, but it is still stylish and looks appealing. (Leather couches, furry but washable rugs that kids can sleep on.) So I never have to cringe or hold my breath when they flop themselves on the chair or put crap on the coffee table or whatever. People pick up on this, kids or adults.
- We have friendly dogs that like to cuddle with visitors. Their toys are usually all over the house, as is their fur. So it's clearly just fine to make yourself at home here without feeling like everything is too perfect to relax.
- I always make them pancakes or something "special" if there is a sleepover. This helps them to see that I actually welcome having them there and it's not just something I tolerate. 
- I let them eat pizza for dinner even if it means I have to make myself a real meal. 
- I don't ask questions like, "How is school going?" Instead, I ask if they've got any pictures on their phone from the trip their family took last month. Or I'll ask if the water was cold at the beach they went to. Something specific that is easy to start a conversation with, and that also shows I paid attention to things they told me the last time I saw them. 
- If my kid does something that breaks a rule or pisses me off while they're here, I point it out and say out loud that we'll have to figure out a consequence later but I don't make everyone present witness the whole scene. As a kid I had a friend whose mom would discipline her in front of me and it was horrible, so I don't ever want to be like that.
- I have a lot of tools for things like fixing bikes and skateboards, and I let them use them. 
- I regularly have my kids invite their friends along for things that we do outside of the house, including things like weekend trips. This promotes the idea that it's normal for their friends to do things with our family.

[/quote]

Your house sounds like someplace that *I* want to hang out, let alone my kid, lol.
You should write a handbook on this... I'd buy it!   :D [/quote]

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