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[quote=Anonymous]We have 4 kids and there are lots of positives and negatives. For us the negatives are more tangibles and the positives are more emotional.  For some of the downsides: we needed larger cars that would fit 4 carseats. The 3 bedroom house only worked well until the kids hit elementary school then we decided we need more space. It costs more to do everything. There have been activities the family could not do because we still had little toddlers when the older two were old enough (think amusement parks, high adventure activities). The younger kids got dragged around to the older siblings events ALOT.  We made the family choice to say no to any travel sports. Kids in multiple schools means more commitments for things like BTS nights, school concerts, fundraisers, school fairs.  As far as the positives: our kids can always find a support buddy. Even when two get in a disagreement there is always someone on their side. They often pair up to do activities at home and when we are out. In the long term they will have more support for each other (this has come up with with my dh and I and our siblings and we have seen first hand how great having multiple siblings can be when trying to support aging parents emotionally) Our kids have built in best friends.  I never thought that this would be very important but during covid it became a godsend.  We went almost 9 months without our tweens seeing other kids in person but they always had a buddy to play with.

Four kids is a lot of work but we love our family and we are happy. There are lots of threads on families with 3+ kids if you are looking for tips. What we have figured out over the years is that for us we need to be extremely organized with a shared family calendar.  We plan far in advance and EVERY SINGLE THING goes on the shared calendar so that we can plan for conflicts and multiple commitments. We are also the first family to help others out with things like carpools because we know there might be times when we may need help too.  If we are super organized we are then able to be flexible without everything falling apart because we can check the calendar for consequences.  [/quote]

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