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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You could be describing my MIL, and my wife has been very clear that her mom was a disaster. We’ve learned together how to deal with my MIL over the years and my wife’s ability to overcome her dysfunctional family background is one of the many amazing things about my wife. As others have said, the key is making sure that you’re on the same page. I also ready some books about narcissistic MILs that really helped, and we lived across the country from my MIL for many years and cut her off when things got abusive.

My MIL has mellowed over the years some, and as long as we stick to our boundaries, we all get along ok. So good luck to you OP and I congratulate your GF for being able to see that she can be strong and independent away from her crazy mother![/quote]

OP here. This. I would feel different if she were handling things in a different way, but she has been amazing at overcoming it and put herself into therapy to learn ways to deal with it.

I don’t think her mother is a narcissist. I think she is very insecure and is jealous of those around her. She lashes out and is a miserable person. She has said very rude things about my mom because she is very close with my girlfriend.

This woman is a terrible excuse for a mother.[b] She abandoned her and her siblings ( all under 10) with an alcoholic and drug addicted father because she no longer wanted that life.[/b] She was a teen mom and got married way too young. She started a new life with her now stepdad and only came back in their her life 4 years later when my girlfriends dad got sent to jail for nearly killing her brother. She actually said she didn’t want to ruin her perfect life and contemplated letting her kids become a ward of the state. She did take them and was very physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive growing up. Always putting them down, calling them names, never wanting to spend time with them, etc. She favored her other child over them. Her oldest brother cut her off when she started to babysit his grandkids ( little kids) and would cuss at them and be verbally abusive when they wouldn’t listen. She would call them stupid and threaten to hit them. She is a very hateful person and it’s hard to have a conversation because you never know if she will be nice or be mean. There is so much more but I won’t go into details about it all. [/quote]

Are saying that your GF mom ran away from home at age 10 due to a toxic addict father and you blame her for not takin all her young siblings with her?

This is where caps, police and family court needs to do the right thing.

Glad people are breaking the cycle and am sorry the Mom could not and did not get therapy (which isn’t cheap when life demands kick in).

I think you’ll be fine, just keep distance. Many families have people withy issues like this or hereditary mental disorders.  You have to leave, divorce, change thugs to break the cycle. It takes real grit but can be done. [/quote]

Lol people need to learn to read better. The mom abandoned the girlfriend (her child) and the girlfriend’s siblings (her other children) while the mother was an adult and girlfriend and siblings were under 10 years old. The mom abandoned her children to an abusive man with addiction issues because she didn’t like the lifestyle anymore, and the children were stuck there until the state intervened. [/quote]

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