Reply to Future FIL made derogatory comments about his son

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They have a very different sense of humor than you do.  My family is close and would absolutely say all those things.  JOKING.[/quote]

I understand you’re loyal to your fiance, but I think you need to take a step back and reevaluate the comments.  Depending on tone and context, they could be interpreted in vastly different ways.

If spoken sincerely, and taken at face value, these comments could indicate a dysfunctional family dynamic and/or warnings of hidden character flaws in your fiance.

On the other hand, some of the most loving and loyal families I know delight in giving each other a hard time. Their fiercest digs are often aimed as counterpoint to the character traits most admired, with the knowledge that everyone present recognizes the absurdity of the statement (ex. calling a workaholic a slacker).  Sometimes, they might actually pick on irritating qualities (let’s face it, nobody’s perfect), and the price the family exacts for putting up with something for years is to occasionally tease them about it (possibly with great exaggeration), knowing full well that their personal foibles are equally fair game.

Examine the tone of the exchange, other people’s reactions, and the general context. You’ve already said they seem very supportive and loyal, so I’m inclined to think this type of exchange is one the family consensus has deemed an acceptable way of showing affection. I suspect if there were real problems in the family relationships, you would have had some inkling long before you got engaged. I suggest you ask your fiancé what his take is on the conversation.  [/quote]

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