Reply to Parent Guilty Tripping After Moving Into Assisted Living

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She’s right. You made her move out of your house.

It’s a marketing myth that assisted living is better than living with family for the old person. It might be better for they get generation, like you, to have her move out. But it’s not better for her, and stop fooling yourself tellnig gourself thwt.

Your house plus caregiver is likely much better for her than asssisted living.

Which is not to say you are obligated to continue living with her. You’re not. At all. But it’s highly unlikely this move was an improvement to her life. She’s the one living there, so she is in the best position to know. [/quote]

The OP literally stated that her mobility has improved since the move. So yes, her quality of life has improved. [/quote]

^^Mobility is not the only factor in quality of life.

These assisted living facilities are not regulated well and they get away with a lot b/c of it. Living there 24/7 is a different story that getting marketing pitch during your onsite visit. You need to understand the quality of the staff and their education and training. Most of these place are understaffed and they have high attrition. They are also FOR PROFIT and they routinely cut corners to make the numbers look good.[/quote]

The individuals you pay to provide help to an elderly person at home are also working for money and often aren't regulated at all. They have incentives to cut corners too. Really there are often no good options.[/quote]

In-home care assistance is much easier to oversee since it's typically only 1-2 individuals. Assisted living facilities have very large staff and it is very difficult to ensure quality of every member. These facilities are also not staffed with professionals--that is the biggest issue. There may be few individuals on staff that are registered nurses but most are CNAs. You also have kitchen staff, front desk, and maintenance--most are hourly employees with no training or significant experience. The pay at these places is very low and there is very little ability to attract trained professionals. Consistent quality of care is very hard to regulate.[/quote]

I don't disagree with you about the problems with assisted living. But if you don't live with your parent or regularly visit them, how is it easier to oversee in-home assistance? Also, what if your regular caregiver is sick and you have an agency send a sub, how are you going to verify that person is providing even a basic level of care or has any patience for your parent? My mom with Alzheimer's used to live in an apartment building with a doorman -- that person didn't have any special training. Why is it worse if the front desk attendant at her assisted living place doesn't have special training? [/quote]

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