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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've been in the US for 15 years now. I'm bilingual, I have an American name. But I grew up in the Middle East. I grew up poor, but went to a good school. I give this for context.

America is a culturally tough place to navigate. For people who come from warmer communities where they have families and neighbors and friends show up almost daily, support them, cook for them when sick, etc. being here is really tough on the psyche. It's also really hard to make friends that see you as a human and not decide to label you as their foreign friend who's an expert on every article you read about that country.

I realized when I felt the most homesick was when I was lacking support and community. It wasn't the country or its politics or its systems that made me miss it, it was the people I knew there, their kindness, having so many people actually drop what they're doing to come help you if need it. It's really hard having to build a community here that mimics that.

Maybe DH is missing community? Maybe you can create one with people that feel like home for him? Visiting often really helps. At first I wouldn't go home for a few years because it was so pricey and I didn't want to ask for a long vacation from work. But as I got older and so did my parents, and I got more secure in my job, I decided work can afford me a 2 week vacation and I can afford tickets back home. Being able to go more regularly has really helped. [/quote]

Yes, my DH is a non-white immigrant with a thick accent and it’s amazing how many Americans fundamentally don’t understand that he’s a person. They interact with him like they’re poking him with sticks.
To be sure I get this treatment too when we go back to his native country for visits. Just seems like it would get so old but he prefers living here.[/quote]

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