Reply to Update to "Minimal amount of secret drinking"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, as a recovering alcoholic, I just want to say to not take your husbands drinking and inability to stop as evidence that he doesn’t love you or your daughter,or your life together. He drinks because he is an addict and doesn’t love *himself* enough to stop.

Keep going to Al-anon. Set boundaries for yourself, and for him. You’re not going to change his mind; he has to do it and figure it out for himself. So live your life on your terms.

He hasn’t figured out yet that it’s the first drink that gets him drunk. [b]That alcohol is baffling and cunning, [/b]or that he is powerless. All he knows is that he feels guilt and shame, but the easiest way to relieve that guilt and shame is by numbing it with the exact thing that is making him feel guilt and shame.

It’s a horrible place to be, on both sides of the fence. Just take care of yourself and your daughter. You can love and support him, but you don’t have to put up with his sh*t.

Good luck to you. I’m happy to answer any questions if you have any. [/quote]

I really hate this AA talk. Alcohol is not cunning—it’s an inanimate object. Obviously it’s addictive, but just leave it at that. It doesn’t “want” you to do anything.[/quote]

Are you in recovery?  If not, you really don’t get a vote because you don’t know what you’re talking about. [/quote]

Can you folks take this carping to another thread - it's derailing OP's thread and problem. And it's not helpful.[/quote]

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