Reply to When dating someone divorced when do o you ask why they split

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have dated a lot of divorced dads.

If they haven’t explained by date three or four, I ask around then.

I agree you should take anything they tell you with a grain of salt[/quote]

I’m a divorced dad. The advice I got was “never badmouth your ex, if you do then the person hearing it will think YOU are the bad guy”.

So, when dates ask me, I provide anodyne platitudes.

I told my lawyer the real reasons, I see no need to tell anyone else.[/quote]

Guys give a lot of superficial things like “our personalities were different!”  Duh.[/quote]

It's a no-win situation for him. If he gives you platitudes then you're unsatisfied, and if he says anything bad about her then that's a "red flag" end he's still bitter, carrying lots of baggage, etc etc.[/quote]

That’s why the posters than said things like See if he worked on himself since his divorce, and See if he can manage conflicts, communicate in a variety of topics, and proactively do real things matters more than a canned response to his divorce.  Besides eventually you might meet the (adult) kids or former friends or the Ex. Or see them have to coparent or resolve something. Keep your eyes open. [/quote]

If there's one thing I learned in my divorce, it's to listen not to what people say, but instead listen to what they do.  [/quote]

+1 million.

SHOW me what you are, don’t TELL me. [/quote]

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