Reply to Overly involved inlaws who are a nuisance at kids activities

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, if you are in the traditional role where your in laws count on you to coordinate everything, drop the rope. Let your husband be responsible for managing his parents. If he forgets to tell them about a game or concert or whatever, oh well. [/quote]

OP here. I did play that role for a long time and have tried to wean them (and me) off this for the last couple of years. When they come to me with requests, I I usually tell them to talk to DH. I redirect to him as much as possible in a nice way. The problem is that my husband plays this role pretty badly as he is more disorganized (and many times has no clue what the children’s schedule is) so they always come back to me. He sucks at coordinating and can’t see an issue with how obnoxious, rude and overbearing his parents are. His view is that we should “just deal with it because they love us.”
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Great! Now you nicely “forget” and become disorganized too. [/quote]

+1. Don’t let them get back to you. Miss the calls, leave texts on read, when they ask about things double down on the “um, I’m not sure, talk to DH about scheduling that”. And when they barge in, be polite but don’t entertain or be the super host. Say hello and go run an errand while your DH takes care of things. He will soon learn that they are pushy and overbearing. [/quote]

Yup I do all of this. “Oh gosh I don’t even know when the recital is, DH said he was checking. I’m sure he’ll call you back when he has time.”[/quote]

+1. Be friendly, be polite but let DH facilitate everything with them. And please stop answering the phone when they want to talk to the kids daily. When your husband gets 10 missed calls from them everyday wanting to chat, he can deal with that. [/quote]

Also, while DH is defending her when you discuss it, actions speak louder than words, and he has developed coping mechanisms, including ignoring calls. Follow his lead here. [/quote]

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