Reply to S/O Has demanding sex ever actually worked for anyone?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Demanding is coercive. Hinting is deeply unsexy. Not initiating at all often means no sex at all. Basically nothing works if your wife stops wanting to have sex. [/quote]

I think this is true.  I also think a woman not wanting sex is a sign of a deeper marital problem.  She might feel, in the moment, that she's exhausted from the day's work.  I know I do.  I get up at 5am and it's nonstop serving everyone else but myself until 10 or so at night.  I do not want to have sex then, since it is basically another service to someone else.  My needs are never met.    If I had a better marriage and a husband who cared about my needs in bed, I don't think daily exhaustion would get in the way -- at least not as much.

[/quote]

Maybe, but I have a great marriage to an attractive husband and....I have no desire for sex. It's 20 years of the same old, not sexy. I am not alone.[/quote]

Would your husband agree that you have a great marriage? [/quote]

Sure, I have sex once a week and put on a good show. So he's doing better than most married men. I am simply correcting the misconception that he's at fault for my lack of drive. [/quote]

That may be true in your case but it's not that way for everyone. I've said it on here many times- several of my friends don't want sex with their husbands because their husbands are demanding, critical, selfish jerks. The women are exhausted trying to take care of the children and the man baby. Then the husbands just poke their erections in their backs at 11pm after treating their wives like their maids all day.

I doubt these selfish guys were ever that concerned for their wives pleasure to begin with.

I still love having sex with my husband after 15 years. He is kind to me, he cares about me, he listens to me and he pitches in around the house and with with kids without direction. He always makes sure I am satisfied before he finishes.

I don't talk about this IRL b.c it would make my friends feel worse and they are just trying to cope.

The whiney men on this board are probably more like my friends' husbands than mine. [/quote]

So it’s your friends’ husband ....sure. One thing I have found true is you can never really know what goes on in someone else marriage and their sex life. I seriously doubt you are in a happy marriage. Your resentment of men comes through pretty strong in your post. Also it sounds like your ideal ”husband” is sex slave vs a partner. It’s just all about you. Maybe this is why you are so unhappy? [/quote]

Awww honey, no. Sorry you seem to think satisfying your partner makes him a sex slave. That says a lot about you, sweetie. I actually give him BJs every time bc he's such a great lover and I enjoy it.

I don't resent decent men. But they are rare. My first husband was one of those guys who seemed super nice until we got married then he let his jerk self out. Luckily I got out of that relationship before kids. Then I made sure to pick a kind and actual decent person for the second time.

So yeah I get resentful of men who act like babies. Is that so surprising? [/quote]

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