Reply to Online dating- how many first dates until you found the “one”?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I do recommend second dates. Sometimes you can meet a great guy, but there is not an initial spark, however, it can build over time and last. [/quote]

Absolutely agree. I met a guy who was nice but didn’t feel a spark. He asked me on a second date and I gave it a shot and we clicked on the second date. I think we both felt a little more at ease. We’re married now![/quote]

For sure, and then some. If the other person has a serious problem, it might make sense to stop seeing them as soon as you discover that. But if you just "weren't feeling it" on the first date - or even the second or third date - you shoudl probably go out with them again. It can really take a while to develop a rapport. "Feeling it" and "sparks" right off the bat are [b][i][u]terrible[/u][/i][/b] predictors of a good relationship.  Many horrible relationships start that way, and many terrific relationships don't, and that's because they have nothing to do with whether it's a good match.[/quote]

In fact, sometimes initial sparks indicate that it's a bad match. OP, it sounds like you're looking for the wrong indicators.[/quote]

Can you explain?[/quote]

DP here
For me, I learned really big sparks was my radar attracted to the dysfunction that I was used to. If they were emotionally or physically distance, I was CRAZY about them. Even if in the beginning they seemed very open, eventually I realized how emotionally distant they were. So the bigger the sparks, the worse they were for me.

With DH, there were some sparks, but I kept my eyes open. I was cautious. [/quote]

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