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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I also have 3 kids, but the youngest is 2.5 and too young to fight/compete with the other 2. My older two fight sometimes, but definitely get along more and are in each other’s corners (ALWAYS). I don’t know if it will change since they are still young (6 and 8), but the only thing I can think of is that I punish both when they fight. I don’t care who is right and who is wrong. Occasionally, (if one hurts the other for example) I will ask the “aggressor” to apologize to the “victims”… but usually they are both somewhat guilty.

My kids also really like to play together… maybe because we don’t do too many play dates?
Maybe it will all change in a few years, but so far, my kids are definitely each other’s rocks [/quote]

Anecdotally when talking to people who are close with their siblings the most common thing I've heard (from parents who were successful at raising close siblings) is that the parents made the kids work it out amongst themselves and didn't get involved. Removes the parent are referee. [/quote]

Anextodatlly when talking to people who don't get along with their siblings the most common thing I've heard from the kids ( now adults0 is that their parents didn't intervene when they should have, or  half-assed it they was alot of  these posters are suggesting group punishments.[/quote]
This was my parents.  They let us abuse each other and our relationships haven't recovered.

I set very firm rules with my kids that they need to treat each other with kindness, even if they don't like something their sibling did.  Disagreements need to be handled respectfully.  I won't necessarily step in and solve things.  But I also don't let them Lord of the Flies it like my parents.  There are ground rules.  No hitting.  No name calling.  No taking advantage of each other.  Etc.  So far my kids are really close.[/quote]

This is what I mean by insisting on respect instead of being best friends. It's great if siblings are best friends or close , but that often isn't reality. This model is also a good lesson for dealing with life and people outside the family.[/quote]

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