Reply to is it appropriate to ask people origin of their last name? should it be?

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Reply to "is it appropriate to ask people origin of their last name? should it be?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Everyone should just realize that is boring and annoying to the person with the name. It’s like asking a tall person how tall they are. They are tired of the question.  [/b] It will come up if you need to interact regularly. Otherwise, just let it go. It’s like if someone has an accent. They don’t necessarily want to discuss where they are from with you. Manners/respect are about making other people feel comfortable. Badgering them about their name is not respectful. [/quote]

Yeah sorry this is not universally true at all.

OP I'm sorry that being asked about your name and background brings up bad memories and family issues for you. This seems to be the point that everyone is missing.  You're not offended about being othered, it's a personal thing in your case.

I am a South American immigrant with an unusual, long, hard-to-pronounce last name and I love being asked about it.  I'm proud of sharing my background.  I like that people learn this unique thing about me.  If people acted like my last name is Smith and that I'm just like everyone else, I would feel like they are whitewashing my heritage and not seeing the real me.

Since that's not the case for you, you can either not engage in these conversations, try and teach yourself to frame them in a more positive light in your head, or change your name. [/quote]

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