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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nope, this is unacceptable. I would be livid, and I would demand change. I think you sit down, when you aren't super mad, and you outline all the responsibilities of your life, and you divide and conquer. [b]You are not to work full-time and mother full-time. It is his responsibility to figure out how to do his fair share, and you will expect him to do that. That is the responsiblity of an adult and an equal partner. [/b]This is unsustainable, and your marriage will (is?) suffer, and he should know that too. [/quote]

+1.  Under “not an option” is you working full time mom and full time job and taking a hit to your career doing both while he only worries about his career.  I would be up front that if he doesn’t come up with an option that gets back to the division of labor pre-move then your option is to either quit your job or start a move closer to his job (despite the financial hit) so he can do his share of being a parent/running the household.   I bet if he looks at the money situation, he will find that ether going in really early and leaving early or pushing for 2 days WFH or finding a new job would make more sense.

And yes, I would be livid.  Not so much that HR may have misled him and he pushed for a move without being sure he would be allowed to WFH, but rather that he is okay with it - that his long commute is his sacrifice, and it’s fine for the kids to sacrifice their time with him, and for you to sacrifice your career and feel overworked doing all the parenting while working full time.  It would be different if you all explicitly discussed and agreed to the trade offs, but he is dictating, by not making moves to change things, what everyone else should be willing to sacrifice for his dream of a bigger house and yard now that it’s clear you can’t have the bigger house/yard without some sacrifice.  [/quote]

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