Reply to Please be gentle/positive: 8 year age gap

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[quote=Anonymous]I didn’t read all the replies, but if no one has mentioned it… please read Siblings Without Rivalry. I’d recommend reading it now before the new baby arrives because it will likely provide some valuable insight into your current child’s perception of a new sibling and potentially help you avoid some major pitfalls. My DDs are close in age but the book would definitely be applicable to your situation as well.

One big takeaway… don’t force your older child into a role. They don’t need to be a protector, best friend, advisor, caretaker, etc. of their sibling just because they’re older and related to your new child. Hear them when they express negative emotions about the new baby without being dismissive. Saying things that seem general and OK like “Of course we don’t love the baby more than you!” Or “You should be nice to Larla because she’s smaller than you and your little sister.” isn’t helpful and actually creates a lot of tension.

Regardless of the age gap, I firmly believe that siblings can have close relationships if their parents set them up for success. The book will really help to guide you in shaping their relationship.

Good luck![/quote]

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