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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I honestly meant for this to be an abstract question for discussion purposes, and not a dissection of my family’s situation, which is complicated and something I don’t feel like getting into.

I’ll share that I am the DH, and left biglaw litigation after only a few years for a GS-14/15 gig. I make a little less than 165k now (less when I transitioned). It wasn’t just the hours and mental exhaustion; it was feeling like a fish out of water, hating litigation and the acrimony, not aspiring to be a partner at all. Missed my wife and friends dearly when I was chained to desk or travel. Only times I felt happy was when work was light enough to be manageable, but not so light that I worried about hours.

But that transition has caused friction within my marriage, in some aspects justifiably so. It’s hard sometimes to balance your responsibilities to provide and be a good spouse with not feeling dead inside, and that’s something I struggle with a lot.[/quote]

How in any way is this an abstract discussion when you’ve asked for numbers?

If you wanted to discuss this abstractly you needed to ask different questions that get at the heart of the issue. Sounds to me like you have a demanding spouse who makes you feel small  for earning a solidly good income, or you are just looking for validation here from strangers that you are a good enough husband. [/quote]

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